Fear has been a dominating factor throughout my life. My first fear was the fear of abandonment. My father was addicted to alcohol and left when I was four years old. My coping mechanism was sucking my thumb. There is nothing wrong with thumbsucking as a toddler, but at eight years old, I still did it every day. My kindergarten teacher wanted to keep me back a year because of my thumbsucking. It was getting out of control. But it brought me ease and comfort, and I would hide it. I was a functioning thumbsucker.
Faced With Prison, I Jumped Into Action And Got Real About Recovery
My next addiction was thanks to high-speed internet. At 11 years old, I found myself hooked to a computer screen playing online games. During this time, I discovered the world of online pornography. This addiction affected many of my relationships and kept me isolated. My high school years were tough times. The pressure to fit in and feel a part of did not sit well with me. I played sports for about two years but I eventually quit them all. My social anxiety continued to grow and I would cope by spending most of my time getting lost in a fantasy world on the computer...